On February 18th, I turn 41 years old. This last year for me has been one heck of a grind… it started with the unraveling of my life and is ending with a spectacular belly flop and face plant into concrete. I couldn’t be more proud of myself…
and that, my friends, is what you call satire.
Yesterday, I was sobbing, shaking, feeling completely broken. Today, I am laughing at the extreme absurdity of my life. I am such a mess. I coach people in their lives and work and have been able to make a big and positive difference for many, many people. And yet here I am about to be 41 and can’t get my you know what together for the life of me!
As I lay in bed sobbing my eyes out last night, I was asking the Universe, “What?!?!?!?!? What am I supposed to be learning here that clearly I seem to be missing? Why am I such an F!d up mess?!? Why can’t I seem to do anything right anymore?” The Universe didn’t answer except to tell me to go F! myself.
And that, too, is satire in case you missed it. But that is pretty much how I feel right now. I am pretty sure the Universe has told me to go F! myself.
So I am sitting in a tiny hovel of a room, in a country I should have known better than to come to because I trusted someone I should have known better than to trust, and got myself into a mess that I should have known better than to get into…and I am about to turn 41. You would think I would know better by now.
Apparently not.
Woohoo!! 41…..
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee……..
And on a less cynical note… i continue to be so profoundly grateful to the kindness of strangers and “angels” who appear in my life when i deeply need them.
i would be an even bigger mess if it weren’t for them.
Remember to be “angels” to others whenever you can… you never know who you might be helping and just how big of a difference you might make in their life. Sometimes even the smallest acts of kindness can make the biggest kind of impact when someone is have a challenging time. Trust me… i know…
Love,
julia
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